Favorite little memories

What is your earliest memory? I have some very vivid memories of when I was younger-may 3 or 4? I remember going down our large staricase to our basement in Valley Center, holding my baby sister, Erika Beth very carefully in my arms. I decided to scoot down on my bottom. I'm not sure my Mom knew what I was doing-I had to have been 4 or 5 though-I remember her being very little. I remember going next door to my best friend Micah's house and I dressed to impress him...I wore all purple-even purple socks and hat and chewed grape gum. I remember his Mom coming to the door and yelling for him as she laughed at me, engulfed in his favorite color. I remember we would then go behind my house in the wheat field and play house with the flour and chicken gizzards I had swiped from my mom's cooking preparations. I remember looking up at the massive blue sky and thinking it was the best day ever. Seeing the airplane swipes (as we called them) and talking about where we would go when we were older and married with kids of our own. I remember being very young and my Mom asking me where Sesame Street was-my very favorite show-and I would walk her all over the house looking for the street. I remember walking in on my Dad in his closet as he studied the Bible and made notes and highlighted. He did that every morning. I remember my parents playing some (actually crazy mean) tricks on our neighbors and me helping...as we placed Saran wrap on their toilet seats and put salt in their sugar jars! Ha! I remember having a family bible study every morning with a couple of songs.
My Grandma Ryel use to tell me that she remembered being 3...I can't think clearly to that far...just memories of a lovely past.

past regret or move past it...

So Facebook can be a great thing...catching up with old friends via their pictures and finding people you thought you would never hear from or see again. I decided to take 10 minutes and look for someone from my past...someone I guess I hurt very badly and wanted to apologize to...for whatever I did to him. It's strange to see him now with a family and so happy. He was happy before but different. I'm not even sure of what I want to say to him. I know how I treated him, but I also just knew what I wanted at that point in my life, and he wasn't in that picture. I've always considered myself a generally nice person, but I don't think I was that to him. He needed someone to fall on and be his rock and I wasn't willing-does that make me a bad person? Does that make me at fault? Now I'm trying to remember what it was I did to him to make him just leave and refuse to talk to me again. Is it even worth trying to contact him TO apologize? I mean really? What do I really want from it? Closure that I never felt? I certainly don't want to bring up bad memories for him or put him in a weird place, but I have always wanted to say that I was sorry for the way it ended.

Christmas traditions-is different bad?

This year was a different one during the Christmas holiday. I'm not sure why I never got into the spirit of Christmas...I mean, I did everything I could TO get there. Christmas baking, decorating, party planning, hosting, decorating cookies with lots of kids, gift exchanges, Church advent candles...I mean, I SHOULD have been there. It was around mid-December when I got sick-right in Hannah's 2nd birthday when I was supposed to be in Wichita for a work presentation. I HAD to get better, so I stayed home-for 3 days! But I HAD to get better...afterall, we were headed to Brandon that weekend to spend a little tme with all of my side of family. We packed up the car and headed out. Bunch of presents, 2 excited kids, a sick Mommy and a Santa hat on Dad. We did have fun though! Went to Silver Dollar City and worked our way around the other 50,000 people who decided to go there that day too. It took us 45 mins to get out of the parking lot!
The next day, we headed home after celebrating 2 December birthdays at a kids fun land. So tired the following day!
Christmas was fun with the girls...relaxed at home that morning and then headed to Andy's parents house where we ate and opened more presents. Hannah had fun opening...could have cared less what was actually IN the package, but it was entertainment for sure. All in all, this holiday season was different...but, but a good different.

Being Creative...or not

So for Christmas, we always exchange names. At least on my side we do. This year we tried to be a little different and exchanged names with the idea that you had to make something based off of a Pintrest like/pin. It was fun...seeing what my sisters and Mom pinned or liked. I usually liked the same things...but my creative mind and creative hand are two very different things. The beautiful, simple bottle wrapped in yarn....looked like a clumsy hot glue mess.
The picture or card ribbon frame I had envisioned for my sister, didn't turn out quite right. The frame was a reused one-and I probably should have painted it or something...it took forever to get the ribbon on there and ..well...it just didn't turn out like it looked on the "professional's page"
It seems like that happens a lot in my life. I KNOW what I want to do, to say, to not do or not say...and it's not what actually happens. I MEAN to send dear friends birthday cards and Holiday cheer every year, but the time slips away with all of my good intention.

Hello Fall

I love Fall...I've said it before, but there is always a sense of wonderment for me during this time. I love seeing the colors change in a day's time and I love all of the different holidays we get to celebrate, starting in Fall.
We went to Ark City in October to see family and take part in Arkalalah-a fall festival there-and a tradition since I can't remember when-FOREVER??!!
Family, tons of food and old friends make for a really nice time. We went down to AC on Thursday night and stayed until Sunday.
One of my best friends from high school and her new fiancee came and we threw them an engagement party.
sometimes I miss being so young and carefree...anytime I'm in Ark City, a flood of memories hits me. Some good, some sad but they have made me who I am and I wouldn't trade a single one of them.

We had some family pictures taken while there...here are a few...enjoy

I wish...

I wish that I could...take back mean things I have said to hurt a sister, take back any pain or hurt my Dad has felt, take away any lonliness my Mom has gone through, talk to my Grandpa just one more time to hear him call me his "Number one girl", tell my Grandma I love her and hug her just a little bit longer, let Natalie swing just a little longer-and push her the whole time, let Hannah cuddle more, be more empathetic to Andy and take away his pain, meet his Grandpa who he loved so much, make his parents realize how much they mean to us, let my friends know I wouldn't be who I was if it weren't for parts of them.
I guess I just did,

What do you wish??

Most favorite season of all!

I heart Fall! Not JUST because it's my birthday season, or because I love wearing sweatshirts, or love the changing colors. I love it because it reminds me that with every season, every year, I am so very blessed to be alive. I am able to enjoy swinging my daughters. Sitting on the porch with my husband. Talking to an old friend in my backyard. I am healthy. I am blessed. How could I ask for more?